The Tale of the Non Interview
by Kahlua and Milk
Summary: A completely non serious look at the minds of KS & TL when they found out that SydneyTwiMum wouldn't be a part of the Australian Press Junket for "Eclipse"


**Hi & Welcome to our first ever collab - a completely non-serious laugh out loud stupid piece of fic!  
**

An insight into the minds of Kristen & Taylor when they found out SydneyTwiMum would NOT be a part of the press junket.  
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"Hey Kris, did you hear the shitty news?" Taylor turns from his open laptop to look at Kristen.

Looking up from her copy of 'The Kingdom' by Jennifer McBay Barry, Kristen asks, "What's that Tay? Shitty news? How unexpected to have shitty news when on a junket for a Summit production!"

Taylor laughs and nods his head in agreement and continues. "Yeah, so did you hear that there is a cute MILF that wanted to interview us?" he asks.

"Wait, Tay, did you just say MILF? Really?" Kristen arches her left eyebrow with a smirk forming on her lips. Taylor shrugs, giving Kristen his famous cheeky grin. While shaking her head, Kristen encourages him to continue. "Ok, so, about this MILF?"

"Yeah, well I was on FaceBook, planting on my Farmville farm and I was sent a link to this group started by a Mom. She wants to be a part of the press junket for our Australia visit. She mounted a FaceBook campaign and a YouTube video, and also got her followers on twitter on board too. Pretty impressive I have to say!" he states while nodding his head.

Putting down her book, she turns to look at Taylor and let's out a chuckle. "Wait, back the fuck up a sec! You. Are. On. FaceBook? Really? How are _you_ on FaceBook and not bombarded by the gazillion fan-girls?" Kristen asks making air quotes when saying 'fan-girls'.

"Yeah, well I use my mad, stealthy skills, so really only my family know it's me. It's my superhero secret identity! It helps me to keep in touch when I'm travelling and stuff," he continues. "So apparently, I heard that everyone's ignoring this Mom, her name is 'SydneyTwiMum' and she's really upset. They're not letting her be a part of the press junket or Q&A. Nothing! Her whole campaign was about how she wanted to be a bit different than the usual media and actually ask us question that the fans want to ask, and by that I don't mean 'will you be my boyfriend?' Ugh, as if that's going to happen. Fuck those questions annoy me so much," he says shaking his head. "And thanks to TMZ everyone already knows I have the whole Tay squared thing in the bag," he continued.

"FUCK… are you kidding me… why not?" she responds exasperated, while running her hands through her hair. "I'd rather fucking talk to a Mom then some of those rampaging teeny-bopper weirdos, or the media dogs, no offence to our fans or dogs of course! My Mom is an Aussie and she is all sorts of awesome. I bet it would have been brilliant to hang out with a real Aussie Mom and have her interview us. Fucking stupid media," she mumbles to herself.

"Yeah, I know," he says with a sigh. "I heard she wanted to have a 'cup of tea and a chat' whatever the hell that means."

"See, now that is just adorable. My Mom loves cups of tea, she says 'a cup of tea fixes everything!' Now I'm pissed. Seriously, it'd be so nice to have some fresh faces and fresh questions on these things. I hate how the media have pigeon-holed us! I just want to smash the box and just be me! I mean I am 20 years old for fuck sake!" she finishes with a pout.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. She was even going to get me a t-shirt that said 'Aussie Beef Patties Taste Better!' how awesome is that?" he says, flexing his arm muscles. "Anyway, so yeah, they won't let her into our Q&A now. I saw on Twitter she's been trying to win tickets, but it's a 'phone-in competition', whatever that means."

"What the FUCK, Taylor, you're on FaceBook AND Twitter? Twatter… Whatever. Wow, I'm impressed! And slightly jealous," she says while shaking her head. She continues, "Well shit, now I'm just sad. That would've been so fun."

"Yeah I know, it totally would've, but there really isn't much we can , eh? We both know we're just the meat in the media sandwich and don't have any say on where we go or who we talk to." Shrugging he continues, "Oh well, better get our big pants on and deal with all the media asshats again."

"Yeah. Oh the joy," Kristen added, full of her usual sarcasm. Just as she was going to pick up her book and be immersed in the Irish magic of Rioghan and 'The Kingdom', her phone rings. As she glances at the caller ID her eyes light up. "I'll be right back." She stands to make her way to the balcony, pressing the green button. "Hey babe, I miss you! How are you?" The sound of the sliding door closing effectively cutting off the rest of the conversation from Taylor.

Rolling his eyes and turning back to his laptop, Taylor keeps looking through the FaceBook photos on the SydneyTwiMum campaign. He giggles at all the ones that have been 'made' of him and Kristen, loving his fans just that little bit more.

**END A/N: This has been a co-collab by SydneyTwiMum & Ladybug's Mum. This is just a sample of the awesomeness that we will be bringing to Fan Fiction in the near future! Stay Tuned!**

**Shout out to afoolishmortal who gave us some Facebook inspiration! Read her new story Say Hello Wave Goodbye now!**

**P.S SydneyTwiMum did indeed get to go and be a part of the audience and meet Kstew & Tay on the red-carpet..look out for an epilogue coming soon!**


End file.
